How I Really Feel...

In the early years of my naval career, I became very good friends with one of my shipmates to the point where we easily shared the most intimate of thoughts on a variety of subjects. For the sake of privacy, I will refer to him as Z. This particular conversation occurred at sea in the year 1968. I was 24 years old with Z being White and a year or two younger than I, I sensed. Z and I stood watch together while the ship was underway, thus we had many an opportunity to laugh, joke, and cultivate a relationship that was suddenly interrupted when I was transferred from the ship upon which we both served a year later. I didn't get a chance to even bid him farewell!

One of the subjects we had never discussed was racism and the inequalities associated with racism. He, doing the course of this brief conversation, asked me questions to which I had no answers. He asked me how had I coped with racism; what were my thoughts on racism and the solutions to eradicating racism. His bluntness shocked me! I had never spent a moment of thought on the subject of racism, nor had I thought of a solution to a problem I never fully understood. 

To be clear, I was acutely aware the animosities shown me by many Whites, but growing up in an integrated neighborhood in New Orleans afforded me the luxury of coexistence sans any racial overtones. Numerous incidents made the local news; however, they were of no... I won't say concern of mine to the degree where I may have formed an opinion. I was simply oblivious to those kinds of things, that is until Z asked me some thoughtful questions. 

I pondered the questions and mumbled that I had no opinion. I simply did not understand how I could be hated because of the color of my skin. Yes, I was aware of Martin Luther King, that Mr. King was fighting for the civil rights of minorities, but how all of that affected me personally was beyond the realm of my thoughts  until he than told me this...

He said that racism and racial hatred, and discrimination grew out of fear, jealousy, and a strong desire to maintain the status quo that a White is superior to a Black intellectually, physically, psychologically! He said that the relationship our ancestors was based upon what is commonly known today as Stockholm syndrome. He said that slave owners conditioned my ancestors just as a trainer conditions an animal to obey unconditionally. The conditional training continued with each generation. He explained that the continuation of the conditioning is paramount to the maintenance of superiority by White racist, and must be kept in place out of fear of retaliation for the physical trauma endured by Blacks over the centuries of racial atrocities borne by minorities! 

Having listened intently, my mind was again shocked when he said... out of fear, White racist would rather a fight to the death before accepting equality of the races. How he had come to these conclusions was of no concern to me, that his explanation rang true was piercing into my subconscious! I never doubted his opinion, instead I internalize his opinions based upon the many incidents I had experienced before day. His  opinion changed me; not into a radical, but it manifested within myself as a guide as to how I would accept life forever more.

Sincerely, I believe that progress has been achieved, that my family generations are meshed into the vortex moving toward equality. Be assured... we are experiencing a concerted effort to disrupt the goal of equality of life with *75% of all minorities feeling that we are living in the worst of times!

*https://news.gallup.com/poll/1687/race-relations.aspx